Make necessary economic changes and you’ll be labelled morally evil.
Make no changes and you’ll be labelled insensitive and indecisive.
Make fast cuts and you’ll be labelled racist, nationalist, evil or naive.
Try to cut back on illegal immigration and people will want you take correspondingly more Syrian refugees instead.
Make any speeches to explain or inspire and you’ll be branded ‘all talk, no action.’
Keep taxing London to fund the rest of the UK and Wales plus Scotland reward you by voting against the Tories on masse. For good measure, the youth of London, in their wisdom, vote against you as well!
The more you try to listen to the range of views inside the Tory party, the more anti-Tory voters brand all Tories as a force of evil.
Try to get support for EU reform and you’ll be branded idealistic and naive by UK voters and EU leaders alike!
Who would want to go into politics in any party, given the voter discontent no matter what happens.